My Top 3 Food Peace Mantras
1. One food choice at a time
When I first started paying attention to the way I relate to food, I noticed a pattern. Each time I was thinking about food or preparing to eat, I would reflect on all the food choices I made earlier in the day or the day before. I would then hyper-focus on the “bad” choices I made, which almost always elicited feelings of guilt and shame. I would then use that to try and muster up the motivation to eat something healthy. Sometimes I would convince myself to eat nothing at all, or drink a glass of water. Whether I chose to eat a salad or ignore my hunger, the outcome was the same. I would binge.
Unlearning food rules imposed by diet culture helped me shift into a new mindset. I began to approach eating by making one food choice at a time— meaning, I do not use past food choices to address my hunger in the moment. Instead I focus on the intensity of my hunger, what sounds good, and how I want to feel afterward. If necessary, I also consider my agenda for the day and whether or not I have ample opportunity to snack if I do get hungry again shortly after. And lastly, I consider basic nutritional information and what my body might need. I assume I am always in need of more vegetables because they are not on my most preferred food list.
Now I can make one food choice at a time based on the present, without fear of “canceling out” what I ate before.
I can make one food choice at a time without “saving calories” for tonight’s dinner out with friends.
I can make one food choice at a time without shaming myself into eating something deemed “better for me.”
2. I can have some now, and more later if I want
Donuts are my greatest weakness. I love them, and I do not discriminate. Six years ago I would tell you how I could not resist eating as many donuts as I physically could, and that meant I could not even have one or it would open up the proverbial flood gates. Rarely did I have the will to say no altogether, and when I did I involuntarily meditated on those donuts the rest of the damn day. Sometimes I would allow myself one but then find ways to sneak a second or third when I felt there were not any witnesses. Fast forward to today I can eat a donut and not feel this burning impulse to grab more. I do sometimes eat more than one, but that burning impulse is gone.
The idea that “I can have some now, and come back for more if I want” is a concept that I feel literally saved me from the absolute craziness I felt around sweets. I have practiced it so much that it has become a part of my inner dialogue when I am eating. It taught me to pause and recognize that I do not have to eat as much as I physically can in this moment. And that is something I am able to believe because now I do allow myself access to all foods. Nothing is off limits. So when the opportunity comes to eat something sweet, I know its not the last chance I will get because I have some at home AND I am no longer a slave to calorie counting or losing weight.
3. My cravings are not the problem, deprivation is
I don’t have a sweet tooth. I have sweet teeth. I used to make attempts at avoiding my cravings using all the tricks people talk about: eliminating sweets from the shopping list, having a “healthy” alternative, chewing gum. Nothing ever made the cravings go away, if anything these tactics only made my binge episodes worse. Believing I should deprive myself of sweets only made me feel more shame about the fact that I couldn’t.
When I began letting go of that belief and practicing permission with all foods, I noticed the intensity of my cravings shift to a more manageable level. I no longer felt controlled by them or consumed with them. Eventually I even started to not want them as often. I could be in the same room as a package of Oreos and not feel tormented.
As a result of the work I’ve done around making peace with food and neutralizing my cravings, I now have regular access to sweets but without the binge episodes. Its like access is the antidote.
